Not Ready

It has been quite a week for me. With finals, moving out, and finding a new place I have been stressed out, but thankfully things worked out in the end. Finals weren't as bad as I thought.... To be honest it seemed a little too easy. I got to come home last Thursday which is nice I really missed my family, and I'm glad my finals were over a day earlier. I have had a lot to think about these last couple of days, I mean when I moved out on Saturday my parents helped me move out into this new place, but what I forgot was that my mine was a neat freak. She's one of those women who won't stop until that last spec on the house is clean, and well my mom didn't find my room to be the "cleanest" around. It wasn't too bad by normal standards I mean it was picked up for the most part it wasn't terrible, but for her it was. Any who while picking up, cleaning, and moving I was talking to my roomies and they helped too. I knew this mess bothered my mom she had this "we need to seriously talk when your friends are not around" look you could tell she wanted to say something at that point, and my dad doesn't help much either because all he does is agree with whatever my mom says. Which is actually quite funny sometimes except when it's directed at me. Here is a little example:

Mom: I didn't like the food at that restaurant.

Dad: Oh I know it was terrible I mean my tea tasted terrible, their service was lousy, and that steak tasted was so awful! That waiter is lucky I tipped him what I did. I was even about to have the server let me talk to the manager.

Mom: Well I meant my food was bad... I didn't like my meal. The service was actually good, and my tea was good as well.

Dad: Well.... That's what I meant.

So with my mom being upset about the condition of our room (I share this room with my friend Robert) We get to talking about my way of being. I get a little annoyed and try to ignore most of it, but I realized quite of few things in that conversation. I don't think I was ready to move out, but then again who is. I feel as if  I wasn't ready at all for anything. I mean when I thought about it I never actually wanted to face the real world, I never wanted to leave. Part of me inside is still a little kid who doesn't want to take all these responsibilities, all I want to do is just be in my own world, be happy, and play video games. Which is bad cause I can see the little kid inside me just crying and pouting. I know I'm still not ready, but I know I have to shape up and grow up a little if not I won't get no where this way. On the brighter side of things I have been a little more outgoing which is nice, like I took a girl to the movies last Tuesday. It was definitely a nice break from studying for finals. Either way with  all this stuff going on since last week I'm glad to be home for the holidays. I needed this time to relax, and from this point on I will try to be a wiser person than I was before. That's all for now kiddies, If I don't write on here from this point till Christmas well may you all have happy holidays, and very Merry Christmas! :]

Fabian

Well last two weeks of school are here, and I will admit I never thought that school would be this stressful during finals. I mean I heard it got bad, but this is just something else. I'm gonna be alone here for these two weeks so this should be interesting. I started going back to my old self, and it's when I felt lost alone and as if no is there for me. I understand that I can't always have someone by me and that this is just merely a phase, but I never thought I would think like this again. I thought it was just all the High School stuff that made me this way, and it doesn't make sense why I feel this way now. Oh well... I try not to think too much of it, I got more important things going on at the moment. Although there is one way to counter this feeling, and it's something said by whom I believe is one of the most wisest men alive... Fabian Ramirez aka my cousin. "Life's too short not to be happy." These words changed me, and they also help balance me out when I felt like this back then, and I just remembered while I was typing what he had told me. The words are repeating in my head and you know what I don't feel as down as I did when I started this! It's true Life is too short and lately with a lot of change I decided to do life has been better than before. I don't live life as depressed as I was before, and it's because I decided to change. I mean I've been happier being who I really am around people . A good example is how I use to hide the fact that I played video games to people, and all because I thought people that was too nerdy, or how I liked certain things like anime or Magic. I got sidetracked off the main topic here but let's go back to my cousin. Fabian hope you're reading this sorry if I get all hallmark-y on ya. When I think about it I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for my cousin here, seriously. He helped me get my college stuff together, made me less of a whiny bitch, and just taught me so much. I've enjoyed his company even when we we're little kids. Back then those we're... interesting times. The one thing I know for a fact he will never let me live down is when I ate on the bike and made a mushroom cloud on impact. I can't describe it well, but I'm sure he can. Well I think it's time for me to be hitting the sack. My bed is looking mighty sexy.

P.S I came up with the title after I was done with this post.

Been a while

It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. Life has been good lately which is a nice change. Even more so at the moment cause I'm here at home with the family for Thanksgiving. The two major things that has happened and I'm really happy about is that I've built a stronger optimistic look on life, and rebuilding an old friendship I was foolish enough to put aside for the longest time. This has truly changed my life lately, but there are still a few problems that get to me, and again two of the major ones is not being able to socialize well with people I don't know, and sort of abandoning a friend. Let's start with the first. I don't know what it is about talking to people that scares me. I mean I'm not afraid to act like me at when I'm walking around like when I make faces when I listen to music, or when I jump up and down and air guitar to an awesome song that I'm listening to, but when I have to talk to people I shut down and get nervous. I don't know, it's just something that I have to get over. Secondly with this friend I feel like the worst person alive. We both had a plan to move to Cali and help each other out. I started having second thoughts, but I didn't want to say anything. When our school took us to Cedar to check out SUU I like it so much I decided to enroll without letting my friend know. While I was sending filling out paperwork in the counselor's office my friend walked in and found out what I was doing, and I explained my friend was okay with it, but I wasn't I let him/her to go alone to Cali and he/she was suffering financially and needed help so that made me feel worse. I let this situation be until recently where it popped up in my head again. I let my friend know how sorry I was and couldn't stress it enough, and he/she insisted it was no biggie. It's just like me though to still feel bad. The last thing I want to talk about is my rebuilt friendship with a different friend from last scenario. She's actually the one I mentioned earlier about the two good things that have happened lately. I'm glad I decided to patch things up. I stopped being a friend to this person for the dumbest reason, and she didn't deserve what I did to end this friendship. It's not good to bottle up emotions and let them burst all at once, and again I felt bad for what I did I always do no matter how much harm someone has done to me I can't stay mad at them for that long. I've said this a million times before, and now this will be the millionth and one time... Angie, I'm sorry! Thank you for being my friend again! :]

Weird Dream

So last night I went to bed at ten. That was the most earliest I have gone to be in the past couple months, and I had this weird dream that I have to share with you. Okay so it started off in the Oasis (a casino) parking lot by Terrible's and their were five cars in the middle. I walk towards them and another car rolls by. Out of the car comes Amie, some one I knew in high school and we talk. Turns out she works in Oasis and I look over and the Oasis looks abandoned. She leaves and I head towards the car in the middle where I was orginally going and I see my cousin Francisco there. We talk and he approaches me angrily and says "Why haven't you talked to me? I'm guessing your college life is so busy that you don't want to talk to your cousin no more." Out of no where 3 people which where his friends and my little cousin Saulo pop out of no where. I tell Saulo "Saulo don't I ask you everytime I see you how Francisco is doing." He nods. Francisco then walks away and everyone follows him. Then this is where I enter part 2 of my dream. I weant on a trip to this Museum with Marco an old friend of mine and were joined by three of his friends. We go in looking around and a girl that one of Marco's friend likes walks up to us and his friend was going to purpose to her, and I step in and say something and she walks away. Marco's friend was a little bummed out, but we go on with our day. This is were this dream gets tripped out. All of a sudden the museum gets attacked by Deadpool (a Marvel character I will provide a picture at the end) and he's just having fun blowing shit up. Then Goku (Dbz character again I'll provide a picture) comes in and knocks dead pool across the building. Goku yells out at the people "Get out now I'll hold him off!" So Marco's gang and I bounce out of there, and I drive off. I start wondering how the fight is going on the way home so I call Krillin (another dbz character) and instead of Krillin answering it was Goku.

Goku: What!?!

Me: I'm coming back to help

Goku: Don't be an idiot you'll get killed

Me: I don't care I'm on my way!
-Hang up-

I come back and Goku is gone and Deadpool is standing there. We don't fight and we just play a crane game! He says that if he gets one I can have a free punch at him. Weird rules right? Well he was able to move the crane how he wanted and he got one on purpose. After he got it he ran away and everyone praised me and called me a hero! It was a weird, and that was my dream. Not interesting or entertaining at all just weird.

Anyway time for friend of the post!
This time's friendof the post is... Marco Santos! I've known good 'ol Marco for since middle school, and I truly got to know him toward mid junior year. During guitar class we'd chill, talk, and help each other out with life problems. Marco is awesome in the sense of making every problem into a funny problem. He knew what to say to make you laugh. So Marco congrats for this weeks friend of the post. I hope most of you enjoyed reading about my weird dream. Until next time! :]

Deadpool:


Goku


Krillin:

Friend of the Post!

Things have been great down here to say the least, but lately a couple strange things have happened. First my food. When I weant to go visit my mom this last weekened she was really nice as to pack up a bit a food for me. Everything was great until yesterday when Robert and I found out that the food was bad. No smell could describe how awful this stench was. GAWD! We had to throw it away so we weant outside to do that. We triple bagged the food just in case the first bagged ripped, but little did we know that the trash isn't picked up until Thursday, so for the next day or so the house is going to smell like dirty gym socks and dirty butthole! It really smells terrible. The next thing that happened was during last Friday night, and by that time Robert and I had already left to good 'ol BD. Well turns out that the house got bricked! Like someone just chucked bricks and smashed our windows. Seriously? What is this the 70's? Do they want us to move out or something geez. I couldn't figure why we would get bricked but here are some possibilities. 1. They wanted us to move out. 2. Someone in this house made enemies with the wrong people. 3. Somebody got drunk and decided to randomly brick peoples houses. I'm leaning more towards 2 and 3. All in all it's been great down here. It's not hot outside it's nice and cool. I've had the pleasure of going out for a walk at night and it's great! This place is really growing on me, but I still miss all the times I had back in BD. The only thing Cedat has over Beaver Dam is cooler temp. I'm going to be doing a thing in my blog I'll see how it works out, but it's called "Friend of th Post" where I randomly select a friend every time I post a blog post and just give you a little bit of their back story and my realtionship with that friend. I will be getting these friends randomly through Facebook. So hold on while I randomly select a friend. -Jeopardy theme plays in your head- ..... Oh by the way the way I randomly pick if you must know is I have that 21 questions app and first person to pop up will be Friend of the post! Look who it is, first friend of the post is... Juan! Juan Perez is a good friend whom I've known since back in Elementary school. What's awesome about Juan is he was/is (not sure on his situation sright now) a hardcore gamer and always tried to find ways have a better gaming experience. For example he gave me a list for game modes for Super Smash Bros for the 64. I vaguely remember one mode and that was called "James Bond Mode" which included picking Samus in her dark costume, setting the damage percentage to fifty, and choosing some other characters in certain colors. I'm guessing Samus was suppose to be James Bond. I also remember that he told me if you pick Kirby in his red color and swallow link you were suppose to look like someone, and if I recall correctly it was a DBZ character. I don't know, but anyway Juan has been awesome growing up and he's been cool when we've hung out. Overall great friend once you get to know him. Well I need some sleep. I was hoping writing this post would make me tired and well it has. Until the next post! :]

New Chapter

Well today was my second day of college and I must say it's nothing at all what I expected both in a good and bad way. My classes have been great so far and I'm enjoying my time here. One thing that I must complain about is the books. Really? I wish books were cheaper, but they way I see it college is a giant test, a test of endurance seeing whether or not in the in the end you're willing to put everything aside to succeed. I have accepted this test, but now it's time to see whether I pass or fail. I'm scared of failure but really that's what makes people fail in the first place is that they let fear control them. I will get through all my fears and hope that I pass. Back on the books. I almost cried when I found out how much they were, and they cost about 500 bucks USED! It was dumb, but thanks to my mother whom I love so much she thought ahead and started saving since years back, which is good because it makes financial problems a lot easier to handle. All in all Cedar has been great! The temperature is great, there is no violence, the people are friendly, and everything is walking distance from here. I'm really looking forward to what Cedar has to offer these next four years! Whatever comes from here on out I'll be as ready as I can be... Bring it Cedar!