Fabian

Well last two weeks of school are here, and I will admit I never thought that school would be this stressful during finals. I mean I heard it got bad, but this is just something else. I'm gonna be alone here for these two weeks so this should be interesting. I started going back to my old self, and it's when I felt lost alone and as if no is there for me. I understand that I can't always have someone by me and that this is just merely a phase, but I never thought I would think like this again. I thought it was just all the High School stuff that made me this way, and it doesn't make sense why I feel this way now. Oh well... I try not to think too much of it, I got more important things going on at the moment. Although there is one way to counter this feeling, and it's something said by whom I believe is one of the most wisest men alive... Fabian Ramirez aka my cousin. "Life's too short not to be happy." These words changed me, and they also help balance me out when I felt like this back then, and I just remembered while I was typing what he had told me. The words are repeating in my head and you know what I don't feel as down as I did when I started this! It's true Life is too short and lately with a lot of change I decided to do life has been better than before. I don't live life as depressed as I was before, and it's because I decided to change. I mean I've been happier being who I really am around people . A good example is how I use to hide the fact that I played video games to people, and all because I thought people that was too nerdy, or how I liked certain things like anime or Magic. I got sidetracked off the main topic here but let's go back to my cousin. Fabian hope you're reading this sorry if I get all hallmark-y on ya. When I think about it I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for my cousin here, seriously. He helped me get my college stuff together, made me less of a whiny bitch, and just taught me so much. I've enjoyed his company even when we we're little kids. Back then those we're... interesting times. The one thing I know for a fact he will never let me live down is when I ate on the bike and made a mushroom cloud on impact. I can't describe it well, but I'm sure he can. Well I think it's time for me to be hitting the sack. My bed is looking mighty sexy.

P.S I came up with the title after I was done with this post.

Been a while

It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. Life has been good lately which is a nice change. Even more so at the moment cause I'm here at home with the family for Thanksgiving. The two major things that has happened and I'm really happy about is that I've built a stronger optimistic look on life, and rebuilding an old friendship I was foolish enough to put aside for the longest time. This has truly changed my life lately, but there are still a few problems that get to me, and again two of the major ones is not being able to socialize well with people I don't know, and sort of abandoning a friend. Let's start with the first. I don't know what it is about talking to people that scares me. I mean I'm not afraid to act like me at when I'm walking around like when I make faces when I listen to music, or when I jump up and down and air guitar to an awesome song that I'm listening to, but when I have to talk to people I shut down and get nervous. I don't know, it's just something that I have to get over. Secondly with this friend I feel like the worst person alive. We both had a plan to move to Cali and help each other out. I started having second thoughts, but I didn't want to say anything. When our school took us to Cedar to check out SUU I like it so much I decided to enroll without letting my friend know. While I was sending filling out paperwork in the counselor's office my friend walked in and found out what I was doing, and I explained my friend was okay with it, but I wasn't I let him/her to go alone to Cali and he/she was suffering financially and needed help so that made me feel worse. I let this situation be until recently where it popped up in my head again. I let my friend know how sorry I was and couldn't stress it enough, and he/she insisted it was no biggie. It's just like me though to still feel bad. The last thing I want to talk about is my rebuilt friendship with a different friend from last scenario. She's actually the one I mentioned earlier about the two good things that have happened lately. I'm glad I decided to patch things up. I stopped being a friend to this person for the dumbest reason, and she didn't deserve what I did to end this friendship. It's not good to bottle up emotions and let them burst all at once, and again I felt bad for what I did I always do no matter how much harm someone has done to me I can't stay mad at them for that long. I've said this a million times before, and now this will be the millionth and one time... Angie, I'm sorry! Thank you for being my friend again! :]